Monday, January 28, 2008

Rock Me Gently . . . To the X-Treme!!!!!!

First of all, is there anything about Rock Me Gently that appeals to any automobile buyer? Anything at all? Who hears that song and is anything less than visibly upset that he was just subjected to it?

Secondly, what about the Jeep brand do they want to associate with gentle?

I hate that commercial so frickin' much that it hurts. I'm like that lady that claimed she went into convulsions whenever she heard Mary Hart's voice on television. Everytime I hear the first two notes of that song, my blood starts to boil. And now, because of the physical pain it inflicts on me, my wife is shaken. You pissed off my wife, Jeep. Your commercial is so annoying that you managed to make my wife get angry everytime it comes on. And it comes on a lot. I'm pretty sure you only have one commercial now, right? Is that the deal?

The other day we were watching the winter X-games. I have no idea why. I think I just love the idea that there's a slight possibillity that I could get to see a grown man die on live television when his snowmobile lands on him after a backflip goes horribly awry. Anyway, so because this is the X-games, everything is geared to the kids. Everything is EXTREME! and AWESOME! and LOUD! and AWFUL! And then the Jeep commercial comes on.

Oh yeah, those tweeting birds singing along merrily to some yokel singing some Tennessee Gay Pride Local Chapter Anthem theme song as he drives his way down a shaded lane is really gonna speak to the kids and make them want to buy this overpriced mom-mobile. Who are you kidding, Jeep? Do you really think this is the vehicle you should be showcasing at the X-games? And if it is, is this the way you want to do it?

If I'm a kid that's watching the games, sipping on my Monster BFC and slurping on my X-Treme Gogurt wondering what that dude from Mask is gonna do next on his snowboard to wow the crowd, I'm going to have just one thought when that commercial comes on; If I ever grow up to drive one of those lame-ass trucks and sing along to old people music whilst birds and squirrels come down to join me along the paved roads I only dare drive on, then I have failed myself as a human being.

Or else I smoked a whole lotta pot.

Screw you, Jeep.

Oh, and that four-door Wrangler looks retarded, by the way.


Hope said...

We were just discussing this commercial at dinner the other night. But, none of us could remember what it was advertising. So, it didnt even do its job.

Love the 4 doors, though.


Soul Glo said...

I think any blog entry that uses the word "whilst" should get a gold star.

BRL said...

We've been raving about this commercial for weeks - we've seen it at the bar on Sunday nights without the sound. It really is a good commercial without the sound.